Jakefomercial

Want to go to Homecoming, but don't have a date, or think you won't have a good time? Well, Jake Sloan can fix that!

Jake is a really sweet guy. He cares a lot about his Ti-89 calculator, so he'll definitely care a lot about you too! Not only is he really sweet, he's also really nice. Jake's willing to sacrifice long hours of his time to stay after school and make decorations for the dance so that others can enjoy their own Homecoming experience.

The dinner bill for Homecoming will be very inexpensive! The food will taste just like a home-cooked meal, full of fresh, yummy ingredients that are good for your health! Figuring out the tip is not a problem! Jake's the Treasurer for the Student Council!

Being the Treasurer isn't just for show. Jake's a super-smart guy who can help you with your physics homework at no extra charge! He's so smart that he even got the highest grade in his class on the AP Physics test the other day!

Jake's a no-frills kind of guy! For those of you who don't like drama, Jake doesn't like to over-complicate things either! Since it's faster and more convenient, he'd rather shop at Walmart than at department stores.

His cute, awkward personality, witty comments, and unconventional sense of humour will keep you happy all night long! As a bonus, his unique, spontaneous, and extremely contagious laugh will really help tone your abs, 'cause you'll be laughing along too!

You can get this complete, quirky package for only $14.99, with his Homecoming attire, your corsage, and computer and gaming consultation FREE with purchase, if you call NOW. Call toll-free at 1-800-GOT-NOD8. That's 1-800-468-6638.

All rights to Cheese Panda & Co. Shipping but no handling/assembly required. Must be 14 years or older to order. Does not apply to any residents outside of the Chicagoland area. Offer ends September 28, 2009.