The Date-ster

Tired of going to homecoming with the same old people? Did you finally realize that the cute guy who sits in front of you has a crush on his English teacher? Are you even going to Homecoming this year? Well, you should, and you should go with David Jamnik!

Never have to worry about clashing outfits ever again! Even if his house burned to the ground, David Jamnik would save his clothes. But, that's only if everyone in his household were out safe and sound. Isn't he a nice guy?

While David Jamnik is not cool enough to own a blanket with sleeves, he does have a lot of good qualities. He's all the things you could ever want in a Homecoming date, and more.

That's not all, just to prove that he's worth going out with, we'll send you a free snail (the animal he like to be) and a head...of cabbage, to keep it fed. Again, ask now and receive a complimentary snail and cabbage head. This is a limited offer folks, don't let it pass you by. Ask now!