Sorry, I don't remember if we were supposed to do this or not, left my assignment notebook at school... so I am posting anyway!
"It's the nerds who rule the world." Many Americans know of and believe this is true, however, it does not always exist in this manner. Fridman defends the "socially awkward" and the "intellectually curious" in this passage. By calling those who ridcule elementary school kids for example, and continously showing off his complex diction, he shows how the world needs these "great minds that think alike." The world needs these nerds.
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Monday, September 28, 2009
First Day of Freshman Year
colors are flying wildly past me, and i barely have a second to process everything. my peripheral vision picks up whirls of motion in the unfamiliar, neutral-color-toned setting. Every sharp turn shows me a different pattern using two stripes. one is yellow, and the other is green. They signify the institution. i find safety in a room numbered 125, and look back over my shoulder. the room is out of the way of the ocean swirling around it. it's quiet. i turn to face the inside of the room, and i feel fear again. My stomach drops again, just like it has been constantly for ages. or was it hours? Light years or minutes, i couldn't tell the difference. The room before me was vastly different from the ocean behind me. i found myself standing at the top of a steep slope. on the rim of some vast pit, its colorful contents moving more slowly than those outside. i did not yet know my destination, so i watched until i found one small blue particle of the scene around me. i knew her well already, so i decided to follow.
Homecoming Infomercial
Have you ever been stuck at a dnace with a boring guy? A smelly one? A bad dancer? Have you gone to dances by yourself? Are you looking for a date to this year’s Homecoming dance? Well ladies, if you answered yes to any of those questions, then Peter Lewnard is the date for you! Worried about awkward, blind-date silences? Worry no more! This laid-back guy is easy to talk to, and funny to boot! Worried about other less-than-desirable traits? Even Peter says he thinks of himself as similar to a bunny, so I guess you have nothing to worry about there either! But however cuddly his personality might be, this Red Hot Chili Peppers fan is likely to be red-hot on the dance floor, considering his mad footwork skills on the soccer field. And that’s not all! Peter’s talents aren’t just limited to his athleticism! He has also played the oboe for Fremd High School’s top-level bands throughout his high school career! WOW! The lucky girl who takes THIS guy to homecoming won’t be disappointed! So, to make sure THAT girl is YOU, call now at 1-800-14-PETER! That’s 1-800-14-P-E-T-E-R. And if you call within the next 15 seconds, we’ll include tickets to the dance, dinner, and a corsage ABSOLUTELY FREE! So ladies, dial us up now at 1-800-14-PETER for the date of a lifetime! Call NOW for homecoming ’09 with Peter Lewnard.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Church description
The sun is just beginning to peek over the horizon and I'm already up and out at church. I sit down in the stiff pews. It is impossible to get comfortable here. The priest drones on and on, people are rising and sittting like an atomaton. My head begins to nod, my eyelids feel like sacks of bricks, my breathing is slow. Then my sister hits me in my shoulder and tells me to stand up. The priest continues to speak. I stopped listening a while ago. The windows with wooden supports criss-crossing through them begin to leak golden sunlight. Then everyone is standing up, getting into lines. We move forward step by step towards the front of the aisle. Before I know it I'm back in the hard pew. Music is playing melodious notes with a 30 person choir singing to it. I try to focus on the music but soon my head starts to fall. Finally it ends, I stand up and hear the priest say a final blessing the audience responds in unison like a robot. Then we file out in crowds.
My Nana (In class writing assignment)
A few years ago, she had to get a hip replacement. Now her smooth, easy, walk has turned into a limp; she wobbles back and forth, trying not to aggravate the hip, but sometimes the pain is just too much, and she can't take it anymore.
My nana is a very strong woman. She had her first child at age 16, another at 18, and four more after that. She survived an abusive husband, the death of her first child, and a horrible car crash that left one of her daughters in the ICU.
Nana lives in St. Louis and whenever we visit her she is the first to come give me the warmest hug and tell me how much she missed me. Even in her old age, Nana is still a very active person. She just recently retired from her job as a hostess in a steakhouse, and now spends her time helping out the family. Every Thanksgiving, Nana makes all sorts of wonderful dishes. My favorites are her mandrin orange cake and special punch.
My nana is a very strong woman. She had her first child at age 16, another at 18, and four more after that. She survived an abusive husband, the death of her first child, and a horrible car crash that left one of her daughters in the ICU.
Nana lives in St. Louis and whenever we visit her she is the first to come give me the warmest hug and tell me how much she missed me. Even in her old age, Nana is still a very active person. She just recently retired from her job as a hostess in a steakhouse, and now spends her time helping out the family. Every Thanksgiving, Nana makes all sorts of wonderful dishes. My favorites are her mandrin orange cake and special punch.
Infomercial
Ladies, do you ever get bored at school dances? is your date a total drag? when you go to homecoming on October 3rd, do you want to have fun?
Hi, my name is Alex Messner, and if you answered yes to those questions, then we have a solution for you! Introducing TRAVIS YON! the best homecoming date a girl could ask for! Now listen up all you single ladies out there, because this is one guy you'll want to meet right away! Not only is Travis the funniest guy here in room 119, he is also a huge Coldplay fan! On the weekends, you can catch him chilling with his friends and listening to the song "Yellow." Maybe you can listen with him when you go on your second date down at the pizza place.
If you don't believe us, just listen to what these other girls had to say about Travis!
Suzie Q said, "Travis was the best homecoming date I've ever had! Whoever gets to go with him this year is one lucky girl!"
Another girl told us, "I wish I could go with Travis to every dance!"
Today, for only three easy payments of the candy bars of Travis' choice, you can have your very own homecoming date! And if you call within the next five minutes, we'll throw in a corsage, free of charge! So hurry up and call ladies, because this cross country runner is just waiting to run his way right into your heart.
Hi, my name is Alex Messner, and if you answered yes to those questions, then we have a solution for you! Introducing TRAVIS YON! the best homecoming date a girl could ask for! Now listen up all you single ladies out there, because this is one guy you'll want to meet right away! Not only is Travis the funniest guy here in room 119, he is also a huge Coldplay fan! On the weekends, you can catch him chilling with his friends and listening to the song "Yellow." Maybe you can listen with him when you go on your second date down at the pizza place.
If you don't believe us, just listen to what these other girls had to say about Travis!
Suzie Q said, "Travis was the best homecoming date I've ever had! Whoever gets to go with him this year is one lucky girl!"
Another girl told us, "I wish I could go with Travis to every dance!"
Today, for only three easy payments of the candy bars of Travis' choice, you can have your very own homecoming date! And if you call within the next five minutes, we'll throw in a corsage, free of charge! So hurry up and call ladies, because this cross country runner is just waiting to run his way right into your heart.
My Neighborhood
A busy intersection hides a quiet neighborhood. Gray asphalt, worn by tires, divides the houses into neat rows; very organized, but also very different. Sitting on the patio, many things come to you at once.
First, you hear the rustling of the wind and feel its cool breeze lift up your hair. As leaves drift to the ground, you look up at their source, spotting birds and squirrels perched on its branches. As soon as you see them, you hear their sounds. Tweets and chirps erupt as they communicate. Listening harder, you may even hear the whir of a bike or the bark of a dog as friends of the neighborhood take lazy strolls on a gorgeous day. You hear the hum of a lawnmower and soon the scent of grass fills your nose. In the background, you hear playful screams of the neighborhood children playing tag or bouncing on a trampoline.
This symphony of sounds, smells and feelings serenades you as your eyes slowly close and you drift off into lazy dreams.
-Rosako Wagner
First, you hear the rustling of the wind and feel its cool breeze lift up your hair. As leaves drift to the ground, you look up at their source, spotting birds and squirrels perched on its branches. As soon as you see them, you hear their sounds. Tweets and chirps erupt as they communicate. Listening harder, you may even hear the whir of a bike or the bark of a dog as friends of the neighborhood take lazy strolls on a gorgeous day. You hear the hum of a lawnmower and soon the scent of grass fills your nose. In the background, you hear playful screams of the neighborhood children playing tag or bouncing on a trampoline.
This symphony of sounds, smells and feelings serenades you as your eyes slowly close and you drift off into lazy dreams.
-Rosako Wagner
Desctription Old Man
He's a beautiful piece of art and wisdom. There is a look of pain and joy mixed within his sunken eyes. I can see his past: the wars he's faught, the friends he's lost, and his beautiful wife dancing. His skin is pale and washed, as the hours indoors have faded the colour. The skin seems to be melting off him, as gravity is winning the battle. I can still, however, see the scars on his face from those horrible times overseas.. Those times burn within him. I am reminded of this every time a loud noise is made- for he twitches slightly and shouts. Even this amount of effort knocks the wind out of him. He walks in such a graceful way- slow as a turtle, but flowing and smooth. He is in pain as he walks, but keeps his pride with a feirce, unchanging, stern look painted on his face. I know it hurts, for his hands are tightly wrapped around the walker's handlebars; his knuckles turn ghostly white from the amount of pressure and squeezes. I always ask to aid him, but he replys in a soft but direct voice, "no." I love his voice, it is breathy and gravely, but very determined. He is a smoker, killing his lungs slowly, and his vocal chords show it. He will never lose that residued scent of cigar smoke. But his cigars are sweet and pleasant to smell. I miss that smell. I miss that man. I will forever miss my grand-daddy. -Erin B
description #3 a whanging headache
Convulsing, agonizing, slow death. My mind can not rest at peace. It's as if poison has been injected. Wishing, hoping that this pain will end. Thinking is too much to bear. Grasping my hair tightly urging for all to cease. Hearing noises magnitudes the intense excruciation. My head's pounding! I rather die, than to partake in this slow misery. Running to find my antidote. That one pill will take away all the raucous my head has endured.
15 minute paper
Which job has no pay, horrible hours, and too much workload? A student of course. In the whole world, being a student is the worst profession. First of all, there is no money. Students work six hours a day, five days a week, but they earn nothing. When a person works thirty hours a week for over a decade, shouldn't they earn a raise? The other thing about being a student is the hours. Every weekday, students must wake up at 6 AM and come home at 3 PM. After school, they must do extra curricular activities and homework. These cumbersome tasks can take up to several hours to complete and often, students miss sleep to finish. These aren't the only work students have to do, they must also take tests. On any given Friday, you can be certain that a student has at least one tests if not more. The worst part of the job comes in June. In the last month of the school year, students must take what is called finals. The outcome of the finals can make you jump for joy, or crush five months of hard work. While you still can, reject this job. Don't waste your adolescence as a student.
15 minte paper
Describe Your Neighborhood
Dear Diary,
Little children... Screams. Yells. Shrieks... Headaches. Migranes. Ears bursting. Everywhere you look, in my neighborhood you are going to find a littel child making the lives of the rest of us much much harder. Whenever I go outside, they are there. Just waiting to run up really close and yell, "HI!!" even if I'm in a car. That doesn't stop them, they would throw themselves beneath the tires if they could.
And I highly doubt that it will ever end. They just seem to keep on coming. In the neighborhood is a spread of children from the past, the present, and the future. You will find college graduates, college upper and lower classman, high school upper and lower classman, junior high kids, and every year of elementary school, not to mention preschool and pregnant woman!
The screams and the stupidity are enough to drive me insane. But I can call this place home, and I wouldn't have it any other way.
Dear Diary,
Little children... Screams. Yells. Shrieks... Headaches. Migranes. Ears bursting. Everywhere you look, in my neighborhood you are going to find a littel child making the lives of the rest of us much much harder. Whenever I go outside, they are there. Just waiting to run up really close and yell, "HI!!" even if I'm in a car. That doesn't stop them, they would throw themselves beneath the tires if they could.
And I highly doubt that it will ever end. They just seem to keep on coming. In the neighborhood is a spread of children from the past, the present, and the future. You will find college graduates, college upper and lower classman, high school upper and lower classman, junior high kids, and every year of elementary school, not to mention preschool and pregnant woman!
The screams and the stupidity are enough to drive me insane. But I can call this place home, and I wouldn't have it any other way.
Describe Your Neighborhood
Kids playing kickball in the street. Dogs are on walks with their owners. A lemonade stand is set up on the corner while cars stop to make the kids smile with joy. All the people here in this neighborhood are friends, and block parties are thrown often. The kids have been going to school with each other since they can remember. The sound of laughter covers the the loud car horns from the cars on the only major road near by. You can smell Mrs. Sullivan's freshly backed cherry pie as a breeze blows by. The warm air touches your skin as you watch the sun's reflection in the pond. In the winter, a neighborhood hockey game is held as the ice freezes over. Lights are put up on the trees so that we can play deep into the darkness. Father, friends, boys and girls all take part in the game. When we can no longer feel our toes we all gather around the fireplace and enjoy a nice cup of hot chocolate at the Koycar residence. All these memories are a part of me, created at a very special place. That place is called home.
Infomercial
Are you still searching frantically to find the perfect homecoming date? Well your search is over because I got just the girl! Becca Pappas is the ideal homecoming date. She’s got everything you need to have an awesome time at the dance. To start off she’s a member of the varsity poms team here at Fremd high school. Who’s better to dance with then a girl that loves to dance? Becca’s life revolves around dance; she dances practically every day and cannot sit still when she hears a good song. She dances in the car, in the shower, and in front of her mirror with a brush as her microphone! This girl has got to be a good time on the dance floor!
Besides her awesome dance skills she has a great sense of humor! Becca is always caught laughing or making people laugh. Your friends will love her, and you and your date will become the life of the party!
There won’t be any need to empty your wallet out for dinner because Becca is a vegetarian! A nice green salad should be all she needs to be happy! Boys, Becca is not the typical girl that needs to reapply her make up every 30 minutes! There will be no need to wait for her on the night of the homecoming dance. She is a naturally born fast walker, even in heels! Your only worry should be keeping up with her when she’s on the move!
So call now, 1800 BCA 4 DNC, that’s 1800-222-4362. Call now to guarantee that your homecoming will be a memory to remember. With Becca as your date you will walk into school that night with a smile that can light up the world!
Description
I am lost in the weary aches of my own heart. No rhythm has passed by since. My soul is consumed by the flow of sorrow seeping through my body. Not even a hint of hope is present in the isolation that is my mind. Shackles pin my knees to the ground bounding my body into the depths of agony and anguish. My eyes glare at the gloom of my own spirit. I am confronted by shattered memories hovering over the dense abyss inside me. I am simply lost, for rejection has extinguished my state of being.
Date Info
Homecoming on your mind? Stumbled upon what lady best suits your needs? Well look no further, the perfect date has arrived. Introducing Anna Oh, this lively young lady can be yours for the taking. She is action packed with a great taste in movies, her favorite being Mr. and Mrs. Smith. She's entertaining alright!
She also enjoys pizza and chocolate. Come on, what man can't resist a lady with a good appetite. That's not all, she loves designer store outfits. So fellas, don't worry about your date looking shabby because she is dressed to impress. If that's not enough to entice you, then get this, when asked what she would save if her house was on fire she answered: money! Can you believe that!? She is also economically proficient. So guys pick up the line and call Anna oh today!
She also enjoys pizza and chocolate. Come on, what man can't resist a lady with a good appetite. That's not all, she loves designer store outfits. So fellas, don't worry about your date looking shabby because she is dressed to impress. If that's not enough to entice you, then get this, when asked what she would save if her house was on fire she answered: money! Can you believe that!? She is also economically proficient. So guys pick up the line and call Anna oh today!
Huddled on a corner with her head peering down as a pool of water collects beneath her feet she sits. Even through the window I can see each wrinkle crease as she shudders in the cold. Her head is covered in cloth but still soaking wet. The black bench seems so cold and hard beneath her. A blue umbrella passes with a small child holding the handle, skipping along in the rain. For a second, when the woman looks up, there is a tint of happiness on her face as she remembers her joyful youth. A car at the stoplight honks and the glow in her face vanishes. By the way she huddles it's obvious this environment is new t o her. I can see a dark alley behind her that is covered from the rain. Her eyes wander from car to car as if she is searching for something specific. She holds no sign or cup for money. Her eyes glance towards her watch.
15 minute paper
The sky was rather calm that day. The few clouds that floated above me seemed as if they had been stretched beyond their limits, reaching from one end of the horizon to the other. I slowly sat up, the woodchips from the playground digging into the palms of my hands. I looked around. Nothing was different. All of my friends were still running around and screaming and laughing like any normal second grader would. I ran my hand through my hair and felt the top of my head. Something was definitely wrong. I frantically pulled my hand down and stared at my blood soaked palm. This wasn’t happening. I had to be dreaming. I rubbed my hands together, thinking that the blood would simply disappear, yet it still remained, staining now both of my hands. My pulse began to race, getting increasingly faster by the second. In my confusion I began sobbing hysterically, know that this would surely be the end of my life.
Five minutes later the paramedics wheeled me out of the school on the stretcher. I could see all the students lined up on the edge of the parking lot, gaping at the stupid kid who cracked his head open. Embarrassed, I looked up at the sky, unable to see the clouds through the glare of the sun.
Five minutes later the paramedics wheeled me out of the school on the stretcher. I could see all the students lined up on the edge of the parking lot, gaping at the stupid kid who cracked his head open. Embarrassed, I looked up at the sky, unable to see the clouds through the glare of the sun.
15 Minutes
One, craning my neck to read the engraved letters on the front entrance, I wondered what the next four years had in store for us. A clipped shoulder sent me flying toward the stairs as a couple of upperclassmen glanced at the sudden movement. A few snickers were heard. I ducked my head quickly and darted into the building. A bad omen perhaps? Well, on the bright side, there was a lot of room for improvement.
Five, okay, so I knew the layout of the school well enough to maneuver myself around. Summer school has its perks but the main reason I knew exactly where I was going was because spent almost an entire hour the night before poring religiously over a map of the school with my classes and locker position penciled in. That was okay, I wasn't lost. At least, not yet.
Fifteen, people! Handel's rendition of Messiah rang through my head as I latched myself onto a familiar face. Schedule comparison; each person pulled out a crisp, clean, pink form that would be our lifeline for the first week or so. And then I realized, I needed a new schedule due to a screw-up. Unwillingly, I turned to the cafeteria for a new pink slip until I realized that I would have to talk to the administration in order to do so. Little Freshman that I was, I cringed and my eyes slowly drifted over to that familiar face. I saw redemption and dragged my friend (who protested the whole way) with me to replace my lifeline.
One Day
It was a cold, dreary day -- the gloomiest day even seen in thirty-some years. Overcast clouds loomed above him, rumbling mutters that soon grew into thundering protests. And then, it cried. Tears poured down from the sky. The wind wailed and the trees and lakes waved mournfully goodbye. Willow boughs clung to it, trying to bring him back, trying to stop him for going away forever. Slowly, gradually, the tears fell more slowly and the clouds gently parted away, leaving just enough room for the clear, blue sky to place a glowing halo above the tombstone.
Jakefomercial
Want to go to Homecoming, but don't have a date, or think you won't have a good time? Well, Jake Sloan can fix that!
Jake is a really sweet guy. He cares a lot about his Ti-89 calculator, so he'll definitely care a lot about you too! Not only is he really sweet, he's also really nice. Jake's willing to sacrifice long hours of his time to stay after school and make decorations for the dance so that others can enjoy their own Homecoming experience.
The dinner bill for Homecoming will be very inexpensive! The food will taste just like a home-cooked meal, full of fresh, yummy ingredients that are good for your health! Figuring out the tip is not a problem! Jake's the Treasurer for the Student Council!
Being the Treasurer isn't just for show. Jake's a super-smart guy who can help you with your physics homework at no extra charge! He's so smart that he even got the highest grade in his class on the AP Physics test the other day!
Jake's a no-frills kind of guy! For those of you who don't like drama, Jake doesn't like to over-complicate things either! Since it's faster and more convenient, he'd rather shop at Walmart than at department stores.
His cute, awkward personality, witty comments, and unconventional sense of humour will keep you happy all night long! As a bonus, his unique, spontaneous, and extremely contagious laugh will really help tone your abs, 'cause you'll be laughing along too!
You can get this complete, quirky package for only $14.99, with his Homecoming attire, your corsage, and computer and gaming consultation FREE with purchase, if you call NOW. Call toll-free at 1-800-GOT-NOD8. That's 1-800-468-6638.
All rights to Cheese Panda & Co. Shipping but no handling/assembly required. Must be 14 years or older to order. Does not apply to any residents outside of the Chicagoland area. Offer ends September 28, 2009.
Jake is a really sweet guy. He cares a lot about his Ti-89 calculator, so he'll definitely care a lot about you too! Not only is he really sweet, he's also really nice. Jake's willing to sacrifice long hours of his time to stay after school and make decorations for the dance so that others can enjoy their own Homecoming experience.
The dinner bill for Homecoming will be very inexpensive! The food will taste just like a home-cooked meal, full of fresh, yummy ingredients that are good for your health! Figuring out the tip is not a problem! Jake's the Treasurer for the Student Council!
Being the Treasurer isn't just for show. Jake's a super-smart guy who can help you with your physics homework at no extra charge! He's so smart that he even got the highest grade in his class on the AP Physics test the other day!
Jake's a no-frills kind of guy! For those of you who don't like drama, Jake doesn't like to over-complicate things either! Since it's faster and more convenient, he'd rather shop at Walmart than at department stores.
His cute, awkward personality, witty comments, and unconventional sense of humour will keep you happy all night long! As a bonus, his unique, spontaneous, and extremely contagious laugh will really help tone your abs, 'cause you'll be laughing along too!
You can get this complete, quirky package for only $14.99, with his Homecoming attire, your corsage, and computer and gaming consultation FREE with purchase, if you call NOW. Call toll-free at 1-800-GOT-NOD8. That's 1-800-468-6638.
All rights to Cheese Panda & Co. Shipping but no handling/assembly required. Must be 14 years or older to order. Does not apply to any residents outside of the Chicagoland area. Offer ends September 28, 2009.
Getting ready for a date
She sat in her closet staring at the vast racks of clothes which seemingly had nothing wearable on them. Why don't I ever get anything cute when I shop?, she thought. Finally, she decided on a pink v-neck, her cutest dark-wash jeans with a swirl of rhinestones on each back pocket, and black gladiator sandals. To accompany this outfit, she added a long silver necklace and a black clutch. She moved down the hall, barely capable of walking. The butterflies in her stomach seemed to alter her balance drastically. In the bathroom, she decided to straighten her hair. She plugged in the flat iron and let it heat up. As she waited for the red light signaling heat to appear, she brushed her teeth for the minty fresh breathe effect. She grabbed a tube of mascara and applied it to her perfect lashes after completing the rest of her make-up. As a nice finishing touch, she carefully smoothed shiny pink lip gloss onto her lips. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the small, red light illuminate. She proceeded to straighten her hair until it was flawless and as straight and shiny as glass.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
I am an apple.
I've always sat here since the first day of school. Nobody really pays attention to me, but that's okay because I am just an accessory. From where I am placed, I've seen what grades which students get on their tests, quizzes, homework, you name it. I've seen kids fail because they cheated and kids fail because they didn't cheat. Once in a while, there would be a courageous kid to sneak onto the computer to print out tomorrow's test. i've it all and much more, but still nobody pays attention to me. Occasionally, there will be a kid who will deliberately walk up to me, pick me up, and put me back down just in time to have the teacher yell at them. The janitors windex me after school. Sometimes they look at me hungrily until the toxic realization slowly dawns them and put me back down on the desk. Every year, there are students who drop the class and new students who seem to replace them. I've sat on the teacher's desk period after period and year after year, yet still nobody seems to pay attention to me.
Homecoming Date
For all those sexy ladies out there with the looks of Angelina Jolie, do you need a homecoming date with someone who realizes that under that pretty face of yours there is also a brain? Well then, if this is the case, Julian Nallabelli is the perfect solution to your problem.
Let me tell you a little about him first: He’s always thinking ahead, like when he trades a Friday night football game for a good night sleep in preparation of a good run the next day. He’s thinks fast food and a Big Gulp is the way to live. Plus, what can be better than his kind and easy-going character?
Why is he the most suitable date for homecoming? He finds life to be mysterious and is dazzled by everything and everyone who walks in it. Because of this, he’s always in for making new friends. With him, there is never an awkward pause. Although he savors his sleep time, he’s no stranger to staying up all night. As a faithful guy, he will stick by you during the entire homecoming dance and make sure that at the end of the night, he is the capable of driving you back home.
Even so, when you wake up the next morning to find a killer hangover, look right next to you and there he’ll be. He’s always up for popping in a classic action film like Die Hard and ordering boxes after boxes of Papa John’s pizza. But maybe this isn’t the way you like to nurture your headaches. In that case, he’s also willing to assist you to a trip to the movies for a suspense film such as District 9. After that, he will take you to Starbucks and order his regular tall mocha frappuccino with extra whip cream. Following his routine, he will then head out to Coldstone to order not a Like It or a Love it but a Gotta Have It. The best thing about being with a guy like Julian? He will keep one more thing off your mind as he will pay for his and your orders.
But this, this is the story of just a single night. Call within the next 10 minutes and you’ll possess the Julian of your dreams.
Nikki Paper
Looking for a girl who knows how to have a wild time?
I think I know someone you might like.
She isn’t like other girls who act all girly in front of guys, she isn’t afraid to get dirty.
This polish princess is a beast on the dance floor.
She know the moves.
Everyone will be jealous she’s your date!
A foot long sub is all you need to win over her heart, no roses necessary.
She’s got the moves from bend it like beckham, and is wild on the field.
Looking for a girl to rip up the slopes with?
How about someone to cuddle with?
Watching the titanic is an instant win into her heart!
Could Nikki be any better?
A girl who can be in cute clothes one minutes, and playing soccer the next!
She’s unbelievably talented.
Nikki is perfect.
If you want to have a fun time just have her take you to a polish party!
Want a strong girl who could save you if you were drowning?
Nikki would jump on any dolphins back to get to you!
If you are listening to everything Nikki has to offer and want to get a piece of this you better hurry!
An offer this good wont last for long.
Just call 847-nikki-wild, again that’s nikki wild for you homecoming date!
Call now and receive a free corsage to give her!
Wouldn’t homecoming o9 with Nikki be o so fine?
I think I know someone you might like.
She isn’t like other girls who act all girly in front of guys, she isn’t afraid to get dirty.
This polish princess is a beast on the dance floor.
She know the moves.
Everyone will be jealous she’s your date!
A foot long sub is all you need to win over her heart, no roses necessary.
She’s got the moves from bend it like beckham, and is wild on the field.
Looking for a girl to rip up the slopes with?
How about someone to cuddle with?
Watching the titanic is an instant win into her heart!
Could Nikki be any better?
A girl who can be in cute clothes one minutes, and playing soccer the next!
She’s unbelievably talented.
Nikki is perfect.
If you want to have a fun time just have her take you to a polish party!
Want a strong girl who could save you if you were drowning?
Nikki would jump on any dolphins back to get to you!
If you are listening to everything Nikki has to offer and want to get a piece of this you better hurry!
An offer this good wont last for long.
Just call 847-nikki-wild, again that’s nikki wild for you homecoming date!
Call now and receive a free corsage to give her!
Wouldn’t homecoming o9 with Nikki be o so fine?
In class writing
Starring at me, as if they know. Looking into my soul and burning a hole through it. In two minutes and 20 seconds it will be in front of me. Thick and heavy, full of information I don’t know. It can smell my fear, sees the worries look and bags in my eyes. I probably have a yellow, glowing ,sign above my head, pointing it out to everyone. As it makes its way around the room, it crashes in front of me, with a loud thump. I flip through the pages knowing I am about to enter a horrible fate. Thirty-six minutes to finish this never ending test. It’s laughing at me, silently of course. Knowing I am getting each question wrong. I should have studied, I shouldn’t have gone out. Just looking at it fills me with guilt and regret. I look around to see the pleased smile on my classmates faces. They studied, they know I didn’t.
Homecoming Date
Are you tired of having a lame homecoming date? One who leaves you to pay for dinner, can’t carry on a conversation, dresses shabby, and refuses to dance? Is your date so bad that you’re willing to break through a bathroom window just to escape? Well your problem has a solution. At HCDS, Homecoming Date Service, we will be able to provide you with a suitable homecoming date.
Our most popular date is Dan Quinn. He is everything a girl can dream of for a homecoming date. He promises to pay for the dinner and not leave you to pick it up. Also you no longer need to worry about your homecoming date’s attire because he knows how to clean up well. Remember your date last year having two left feet? Well Dan plays the trombone in the band so you know he has rhythm so he won’t be stepping on your feet all night. Not only does he have rhythm, but he enjoys dancing so you won’t be alone on the dance floor. He also is involved in volleyball so he has the endurance to dance all night long.
Now for personality there is not need to be concerned. He is very personable and is able to keep a conversation going without bragging about himself. Also he is open to going in a big group and not afraid to meet new people, so you can also go with your friends. I assure you that he will fit right in and even impress your friends. He is no meathead and is actually very intelligent because he is in several AP classes including Mrs. Enk’s AP English class which is really saying something.
Now this is a limited time offer for the first lucky girl who calls in. And if you call within the next fifteen seconds HCDS will throw in a stretch limo for you and all of your friends. If you call within the first ten seconds HCDS will pay for the dress of your dreams as well. Forget the dreadful previous dates and do something for yourself. You are guaranteed to have the time of your life with Dan Quinn.
Our most popular date is Dan Quinn. He is everything a girl can dream of for a homecoming date. He promises to pay for the dinner and not leave you to pick it up. Also you no longer need to worry about your homecoming date’s attire because he knows how to clean up well. Remember your date last year having two left feet? Well Dan plays the trombone in the band so you know he has rhythm so he won’t be stepping on your feet all night. Not only does he have rhythm, but he enjoys dancing so you won’t be alone on the dance floor. He also is involved in volleyball so he has the endurance to dance all night long.
Now for personality there is not need to be concerned. He is very personable and is able to keep a conversation going without bragging about himself. Also he is open to going in a big group and not afraid to meet new people, so you can also go with your friends. I assure you that he will fit right in and even impress your friends. He is no meathead and is actually very intelligent because he is in several AP classes including Mrs. Enk’s AP English class which is really saying something.
Now this is a limited time offer for the first lucky girl who calls in. And if you call within the next fifteen seconds HCDS will throw in a stretch limo for you and all of your friends. If you call within the first ten seconds HCDS will pay for the dress of your dreams as well. Forget the dreadful previous dates and do something for yourself. You are guaranteed to have the time of your life with Dan Quinn.
Describe your first day of school.
My stomach began to flip as my mom pulled up to the entrance. My older sister kept telling me it would be okay. I took heavy, hesitant steps up the stairs dreading entering the larger than life building. My sister took me to the cafeteria as my mind wandered to the voice on the answering machine last night. A lady with a monotoned, deep voice informed me that my schedule completely changed and to pick it up in the morning. To her it might not have seemed like a big deal, but to me it was devastating! No longer did I know the correct route and galls to turn in, not even including the nervous rush of kids flowing out of the classrooms. Worst of all, I knew no one in my classes now. I snap out of this thought as I step up to the lady at the table, where somewhere my schedule was buried in the pile. The schedule was filled with foreign names and class numbers. My sister sat me down as I was on the edge of panic. She wrote down turn by turn directions for me, which to me seemed like my life line.
Description
My grandpa's service started off well enough. We all gathered in a side room of the church perfumed with colorful flowers and decorated with old pictures documenting his life. The dark wooden casket sat closed on a table. I tried not to think about what was in it.
The nursing home had called when he hadn't shown up for church the previous Sunday morning. He'd been going daily to the nursing home for the two and a half years since my grandma because one of the residents. He knew everybody there either from spending so much time there or doing their taxes years ago.
My family was on the way home from a short vacation up to Wisconsin to pick me up from a camp that morning. Amidst the piles of laundry and sleeping bags when we got home that afternoon, someone noticed the flashing light on the answering machine. Within 30 minutes, new bags were packed and we were in for another three hours of driving.
The whole car ride down state was filled with phone calls from relatives living closer who went and found him, updates from the hospital, my uncle and his family who had left that morning for their own vacation to Wisconsin.
There is one gas station in particular that will always stand out to me whenever we stop there for gas. We were there for a long time. The latest update hadn't been good.
The nursing home had called when he hadn't shown up for church the previous Sunday morning. He'd been going daily to the nursing home for the two and a half years since my grandma because one of the residents. He knew everybody there either from spending so much time there or doing their taxes years ago.
My family was on the way home from a short vacation up to Wisconsin to pick me up from a camp that morning. Amidst the piles of laundry and sleeping bags when we got home that afternoon, someone noticed the flashing light on the answering machine. Within 30 minutes, new bags were packed and we were in for another three hours of driving.
The whole car ride down state was filled with phone calls from relatives living closer who went and found him, updates from the hospital, my uncle and his family who had left that morning for their own vacation to Wisconsin.
There is one gas station in particular that will always stand out to me whenever we stop there for gas. We were there for a long time. The latest update hadn't been good.
Descriptive Thing
I hadn't really even known him before I heard that my second-cousin had passed away. The funeral was to take place the next week, and before I knew it the day had come. It is incredibly strange to see someone half your age and size in a coffin in front of you. Seeing someone your own age, or even older is much easier to comprehend. It is just more realistic. The light from the sky windows in the church came down in pillars that lit up the room, and musicians began to play hymns of a sending-away.
Later, during the burial Matthew's entire third grade class was given flowers to drop into his grave with him. Some of them managed to get them to land on the coffin, and they were very proud of this. Before the truck began filling the gaping hole in the ground with more dry dirt his uncle came and took a handful of it and dropped it in on top of the flowers. He let it go slowly; it sifted through his fingers and gently dusted the flowers that lay above him.
Later, during the burial Matthew's entire third grade class was given flowers to drop into his grave with him. Some of them managed to get them to land on the coffin, and they were very proud of this. Before the truck began filling the gaping hole in the ground with more dry dirt his uncle came and took a handful of it and dropped it in on top of the flowers. He let it go slowly; it sifted through his fingers and gently dusted the flowers that lay above him.
Homecoming Date
Having trouble finding someone to ask to homecoming? Do all the other people just seem plain and boring compared to you? Do you want to be absolutely certain that you have a good time? Well then look no further! The perfect homecoming date is right in front of you; yes that’s right! Liz Posdal is the perfect homecoming date for you. Liz is a very well-rounded person; she plays soccer, used to play a multitude of instruments, including the clarinet, alto and bari sax, and best of all takes AP English! Running out of things to talk about with her is going to be very difficult. Whether it’s who won the big world cup game, how to hit that ridiculous high note, what the homework was last night, or even Barack Obama Liz will be more than willing to talk about it. Liz is also not a very picky eater. Taking her somewhere fancy would be nice, but she won’t have a problem with you if you take her out to McDonald’s and follow it up with a nice chocolate ice-cream. But don’t get me wrong, just because she isn’t super picky about food does not mean she does not have good fashion sense. She will come to the dance in a dress that she bought at a designer store and everyone will be jealous. You and your date will be the envy of the dance. For just the price of her homecoming ticket Liz will be your date and help you have an amazing night! But hurry! Unfortunately there is only one Liz Posdal in the whole wide world and she is in high demand! Call now and ask Liz to go to homecoming with you. There’s no risk involved; if you don’t have a great time at the dance for whatever reason, call us back and we will do our best to force Liz to pay you back. Offer ends as soon as Liz has a date to homecoming!
Friday, September 25, 2009
Descriptions
By: Ryan Yang
I walk in through the shabby doors as a wave of odors hit me. I can’t quite make out the scent; it’s like deodorizer mixed with urine and fecal matter, as if a really smelly teenager took a shower in Axe. The sound is deafening, and for a second I’m overwhelmed by the repulsive scents and the intrusive battering of the walls that are my eardrums, like a staccato of gunfire. I scan the room with my eyes and the angry prisoners jump and scream with anger as I walk by, indignant as they protect what little private space they have from my intrusive yet passive presence. Yet above all this confusion, one stood out above the rest. One lays motionless and sickly, in a ball of misery and pain. I told the warden that he was the one as I pointed to his quivering body. And as I held him, staring into his deep, dark, and remorseful eyes I knew that never again would he be starved of nutrition or affection. I went home and verified with my mother that I was making the right decision and after withdrawing $300, I adopted my miniature pinscher, Aeden, and brought him home to his new safe haven.
I walk in through the shabby doors as a wave of odors hit me. I can’t quite make out the scent; it’s like deodorizer mixed with urine and fecal matter, as if a really smelly teenager took a shower in Axe. The sound is deafening, and for a second I’m overwhelmed by the repulsive scents and the intrusive battering of the walls that are my eardrums, like a staccato of gunfire. I scan the room with my eyes and the angry prisoners jump and scream with anger as I walk by, indignant as they protect what little private space they have from my intrusive yet passive presence. Yet above all this confusion, one stood out above the rest. One lays motionless and sickly, in a ball of misery and pain. I told the warden that he was the one as I pointed to his quivering body. And as I held him, staring into his deep, dark, and remorseful eyes I knew that never again would he be starved of nutrition or affection. I went home and verified with my mother that I was making the right decision and after withdrawing $300, I adopted my miniature pinscher, Aeden, and brought him home to his new safe haven.
Homecoming Infomercial (Akhil Nambiar)
By: Ryan Yang
Are you in the need of a homecoming date?! Do you want a sexy bachelor? Well today is your lucky day.. Too good for Hollywood’s Bollywood, I present to you, AKHILLLL NAMBIARRRRRRR.
Not only is this hunky mass of man a beautiful specimen of the human race, but he is so wild that his life can be summarized with the movie title Animal House.
Having problems with people? No problem! Akhil can take care of it because if Akhil were an animal he would be a lion. But not just any lion, a lion with class, because your very own Akhil Nambiar wears designer clothes and enjoys talking to sophisticated people like Cameron Diaz! You know you want a homecoming date that wants to talk to Cameron Diaz.
He’s sexy, he’s a beast, and he’s classy but he’s got more than all that! Akhil Nambiar is even relatable! Don’t want to waste your money on a costly pre-dance dinner. NO PROBLEM. Akhil enjoys pizza and Wendy’s! Can’t decide what kind of gift to get him, don’t worry! He loves anything chocolate!
You think that’s a good deal? Just wait! Akhil is extremely intellectual. He’s in AP Physics , AP US, and much much more. But wait! That’s not all! He also plays basketball for a pee-wee league, and due to consistent strength and conditioning in gym, he has the strength of… you guessed it, a lion!
Still not convinced? Well not only is Akhil successful in school and athletics, Nambiar is known as the master of disaster among his friends, due to his extremely reputable Xbox 360 skills. Worried about loyalty from your homecoming date? Not a problem. With over 40 hours of consistent gameplay a week, Akhil more than proves his ability to dedicate himself to something.
And if all this amazingly good stuff wasn’t enough, now for a one time offer, Akhil will even drive you to Homecoming. That’s right I said it! Akhil Nambiar comes with a State of Illinois Drivers license! If you want to hook up with this beast from the East, call 847-NAM-BIAR, that’s 847-626-2427.
Are you in the need of a homecoming date?! Do you want a sexy bachelor? Well today is your lucky day.. Too good for Hollywood’s Bollywood, I present to you, AKHILLLL NAMBIARRRRRRR.
Not only is this hunky mass of man a beautiful specimen of the human race, but he is so wild that his life can be summarized with the movie title Animal House.
Having problems with people? No problem! Akhil can take care of it because if Akhil were an animal he would be a lion. But not just any lion, a lion with class, because your very own Akhil Nambiar wears designer clothes and enjoys talking to sophisticated people like Cameron Diaz! You know you want a homecoming date that wants to talk to Cameron Diaz.
He’s sexy, he’s a beast, and he’s classy but he’s got more than all that! Akhil Nambiar is even relatable! Don’t want to waste your money on a costly pre-dance dinner. NO PROBLEM. Akhil enjoys pizza and Wendy’s! Can’t decide what kind of gift to get him, don’t worry! He loves anything chocolate!
You think that’s a good deal? Just wait! Akhil is extremely intellectual. He’s in AP Physics , AP US, and much much more. But wait! That’s not all! He also plays basketball for a pee-wee league, and due to consistent strength and conditioning in gym, he has the strength of… you guessed it, a lion!
Still not convinced? Well not only is Akhil successful in school and athletics, Nambiar is known as the master of disaster among his friends, due to his extremely reputable Xbox 360 skills. Worried about loyalty from your homecoming date? Not a problem. With over 40 hours of consistent gameplay a week, Akhil more than proves his ability to dedicate himself to something.
And if all this amazingly good stuff wasn’t enough, now for a one time offer, Akhil will even drive you to Homecoming. That’s right I said it! Akhil Nambiar comes with a State of Illinois Drivers license! If you want to hook up with this beast from the East, call 847-NAM-BIAR, that’s 847-626-2427.
An Old Woman
She is seventy-three.
It is easy to tell, with her dark eyes sunken in on her face, antique, aged with creases and wrinkles. Her hair shines a glimmering silver, worn long and braided. She’s thin, her wrists bony and fingers long and elegant.
Her hands show her past; soft like worn in leather. Scars from this. Marks from that. Her ring of white gold is dotted with scratches and dents; each bruise and bump is accounted for. It still is adorned on her finger, even after being left behind and widowed.
She was a beautiful bride. A beautiful child. A beautiful mother.
She holds a picture frame, closely examining it. She’s seen it many times before, though possibly not much more than a glance. Within the mahogany frames there lays a young woman, smiling. Her eyes and hair are bright in the sunlight, surrounded by grass and the trees. It is a perfect setting. A man is with her, giving her an expression of happiness. It seems as if he’s gained the whole world. They lay in the grass. They look so happy. They were happy. She still is happy.
She stares intently at the beauty enclosed by ebony frames. She slowly, carefully sets it back down on a table.
She misses him so dearly.
It is easy to tell, with her dark eyes sunken in on her face, antique, aged with creases and wrinkles. Her hair shines a glimmering silver, worn long and braided. She’s thin, her wrists bony and fingers long and elegant.
Her hands show her past; soft like worn in leather. Scars from this. Marks from that. Her ring of white gold is dotted with scratches and dents; each bruise and bump is accounted for. It still is adorned on her finger, even after being left behind and widowed.
She was a beautiful bride. A beautiful child. A beautiful mother.
She holds a picture frame, closely examining it. She’s seen it many times before, though possibly not much more than a glance. Within the mahogany frames there lays a young woman, smiling. Her eyes and hair are bright in the sunlight, surrounded by grass and the trees. It is a perfect setting. A man is with her, giving her an expression of happiness. It seems as if he’s gained the whole world. They lay in the grass. They look so happy. They were happy. She still is happy.
She stares intently at the beauty enclosed by ebony frames. She slowly, carefully sets it back down on a table.
She misses him so dearly.
12-13 Minute Writing Blast
By 10:15 every morning the day is starting to get me down. It begins to feel long and never-ending. But the next three periods tend to always spice a little excitement into my life. Not just because of the period subjects, English, lunch, and psychology, which I all love, but the people in them too. There are multiple people in every class that make the period for me but one in particular I see every time I first walk into room 119. She's sitting there, in her seat next to mine, with an array of expressions. Sometimes she's smiley, happy, and forgot to take her ADHD meds. But there always the moments when she's down, unhappy and solemn. Liz swings her moods and mine more than a small child's playground. But no matter what she's always there when I need her. Whether it's to discuss, you-know-who (well I guess you don't), or just be able to have an amazing conversation. I remember it was freshman year when we first met and became friends, but I can promise you that it wasn't until Mr. Anderson's class that I realized how perfect she was for me to confide in. Not just talking either, she's perfect for helping hide you when you still need to put on deodorant in the morning (yes, I've seen this in action) and even when you simply need a hug. She's good for having a teasing bout with and almost always creates a smile. But then, with a personality like hers... what could you expect.
*That was as far as I got.... I wish it could be a little longer. But, I didn't want to edit it because that would slightly defeat the purpose I felt.... oh well.*
*That was as far as I got.... I wish it could be a little longer. But, I didn't want to edit it because that would slightly defeat the purpose I felt.... oh well.*
Homecoming Infomercial (Megan Gray is AWESOME)
Hey guys – are you tired of going to homecoming alone? Do you get frustrated when people ask you who your date is, always having to reply that you weren’t man enough to ask someone? Don’t you wish that you could have a hot date to show off to all of your football buddies? Well thanks to my friend Megan Gray, your days of misery are over.
Megan is the ideal homecoming date: she’s easygoing, she likes to smile, and she even likes to dance. With Megan as your date, you won’t have to worry about where you go to dinner, just as long as she isn’t confined to eating seafood. Along with not being picky about food, Megan also gets along with all types of people, so feel free to show her off to all of your friends, ‘cause her great personality is sure to impress!
Still contemplating making Megan your date? Then hear this – not only is she a great date, she’s also a pro at basketball and a Bears fan. What more could a guy ask for?
So if you feel motivated to pick up that phone and become a man, then call 1-888-GRAY-NOW, again that number is 1-8-8-8-4-7-1-9-6-6-9. And hurry, for if you call within the next three minutes you will receive a free corsage of your color choice. Better yet, if you call within the next sixty seconds, not only will you receive a free corsage of you color choice, but you will also receive a free limited edition SHAMWOW to mop up those tears of joy you cried from having the night of your life. This entire deal, a 50 dollar value, is being offered to you for the unbeatable cost of one 10 dollar homecoming ticket. That’s a savings of forty dollars! So act fast, grab that phone, and dial 1-888-GRAY-NOW for the chance to make your homecoming dance a slam dunk.
Megan is the ideal homecoming date: she’s easygoing, she likes to smile, and she even likes to dance. With Megan as your date, you won’t have to worry about where you go to dinner, just as long as she isn’t confined to eating seafood. Along with not being picky about food, Megan also gets along with all types of people, so feel free to show her off to all of your friends, ‘cause her great personality is sure to impress!
Still contemplating making Megan your date? Then hear this – not only is she a great date, she’s also a pro at basketball and a Bears fan. What more could a guy ask for?
So if you feel motivated to pick up that phone and become a man, then call 1-888-GRAY-NOW, again that number is 1-8-8-8-4-7-1-9-6-6-9. And hurry, for if you call within the next three minutes you will receive a free corsage of your color choice. Better yet, if you call within the next sixty seconds, not only will you receive a free corsage of you color choice, but you will also receive a free limited edition SHAMWOW to mop up those tears of joy you cried from having the night of your life. This entire deal, a 50 dollar value, is being offered to you for the unbeatable cost of one 10 dollar homecoming ticket. That’s a savings of forty dollars! So act fast, grab that phone, and dial 1-888-GRAY-NOW for the chance to make your homecoming dance a slam dunk.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Infomercial :)
It’s that time of year again, it seems like everybody is scrambling for a date to homecoming, but are you? No, because you have the perfect date to homecoming right before your eyes! This is Sarah Kuhl, and let me tell you, she’s a really cool girl.
To name a few great things about her, she’s smart, sentimental, and very cheerful and upbeat. Sarah’s the kind of person, who, when her house is burning down, would pick up an item of great sentimental value instead of a large cash value. For example, a beautiful, warm blanket that her grandmother made for her. This shows that she’s not selfish and vain like some other dates might be.
In addition, Sarah is in marching band. You know what that means. She works hard, is very dedicated, and is quite musically talented. Marching in synch with the rest of the band is harder than it looks, especially while playing an instrument. It takes a lot of coordination and not many people can accomplish that.
Sarah is also very cheerful and energetic. She can be seen rocking out to “I Gotta Feeling” by the Black Eyed Peas, which is definitely a lively, upbeat song. For entertainment, Sarah loves watching romantic comedies. Her favorite movie is Hitch. She also loves going shopping and would buy some fabulous pairs of shoes if she had the money. So, along with all those other great qualities I mentioned, Sarah is very fashionable and knows how to dress in style. Who wouldn’t want a date like that? She’s perfect. So don’t miss this great opportunity to snag a date. You can call now and request a date with Sarah for only $100. With all of her awesome qualities and great personality you didn’t expect her to be cheap did you?
It’s that time of year again, when all the leaves start falling from the trees, the days begin to grow shorter, and all the high-school boys are nervously thinking about who they are going to ask to the homecoming dance. They want a girl they can be proud of, a girl who is fun and not embarrassing on the dance floor, a girl who won’t cause drama… the perfect date. But this girl is very hard to find, as she doesn’t come around on a regular basis. Well my lovely male friends, I have just the solution for you! I have found an amazing girl you can have as your very own homecoming date!
Her name is Hannah, and she is one girl who loves to have a good time! She loves going out with friends, so she’ll take the chance to go to a dance. Other girls may want to stay at home during this exciting event, and watching move, laze around, eat junk food, you know the type, and we’ve all experienced the boringness of this girl. Well I guarantee that Hannah is not that type, and will blow your mind away if you choose her.
She is also very funny and outgoing. She won’t be shy toward her date, and she’ll keep up a lively conversation. She will always find something to talk about, as she is a very smart girl with a quick mind. I guarantee there will never be a dull moment with Hannah. At dinner she will be enthusiastic to eat a wonderfully filling meal. No, she’s absolutely not the type of girl to pick at a salad complaining about her weight! Luck you! Once you’re at the dance, you will find she comes alive on the dance floor, and show you a move or two. Even if it’s just jumping up and down, you’re sure to break a sweat from her liveliness.
Everything about Hannah is absolutely intriguing. Did you know she’s really good at video games? Well it’s true! Haven’t you always dreamed of going with a girl who can challenge you at a game of guitar hero? I know you have, and she’s not one to back down! Plus, you’ll find that she’s a really deep person, in that she has many passions. One of those being her love for photography and art. Have you ever known a girl so interesting?
But boys remember, this date is a limited time offer, and will not be valid after October 3rd. You have to act fast! And don’t stress yourself with the pressure of finding a creative way to ask Hannah, that part does not matter to her. All you need is the desire to go to homecoming! So give her number a call now and ask away, lines will be getting busy! Once again this is a limited time offer, and will not be valid after October 3rd. So hurry up and ask this perfect date to the Homecoming dance!
Erin Blanchette
Her name is Hannah, and she is one girl who loves to have a good time! She loves going out with friends, so she’ll take the chance to go to a dance. Other girls may want to stay at home during this exciting event, and watching move, laze around, eat junk food, you know the type, and we’ve all experienced the boringness of this girl. Well I guarantee that Hannah is not that type, and will blow your mind away if you choose her.
She is also very funny and outgoing. She won’t be shy toward her date, and she’ll keep up a lively conversation. She will always find something to talk about, as she is a very smart girl with a quick mind. I guarantee there will never be a dull moment with Hannah. At dinner she will be enthusiastic to eat a wonderfully filling meal. No, she’s absolutely not the type of girl to pick at a salad complaining about her weight! Luck you! Once you’re at the dance, you will find she comes alive on the dance floor, and show you a move or two. Even if it’s just jumping up and down, you’re sure to break a sweat from her liveliness.
Everything about Hannah is absolutely intriguing. Did you know she’s really good at video games? Well it’s true! Haven’t you always dreamed of going with a girl who can challenge you at a game of guitar hero? I know you have, and she’s not one to back down! Plus, you’ll find that she’s a really deep person, in that she has many passions. One of those being her love for photography and art. Have you ever known a girl so interesting?
But boys remember, this date is a limited time offer, and will not be valid after October 3rd. You have to act fast! And don’t stress yourself with the pressure of finding a creative way to ask Hannah, that part does not matter to her. All you need is the desire to go to homecoming! So give her number a call now and ask away, lines will be getting busy! Once again this is a limited time offer, and will not be valid after October 3rd. So hurry up and ask this perfect date to the Homecoming dance!
Erin Blanchette
Homecoming Infomercial
Are you tired of looking and searching for hours on end for your perfect date to the homecoming dance, and all of your hard work could just end with rejection anyway. Well then look no further because you’re perfect date is right here. Meet Christine, she is looking for a date, and could even be yours if you are interested. She is smart, funny and kind, but then again so are a lot of people. What sets Christine apart is the fact that she is very artistic, and she has very good hygiene. Now that is something you don’t find in very many people nowadays.
Now as a personality comparison test we asked her some questions. When asked what the one thing that she would save if her house was on fire she responded “the house.” That kind of cleverness is hard to find in perspective dates, but that’s not all. If she could change one thing about herself she would like to be better in math. Whether you are good at math, and like helping people, or you find math difficult and you like having things in common with people, Christine would be a perfect fit for you.
But wait, there’s more. If you order your Christine today you will receive with her one nice outfit to wear to the dance, and a free ticket as well. If you are still not sure about this commitment, we will also throw in a free limousine ride to and from the dance for you and your date. If you would like to order Christine today send cash or check order to PO Box number 442563 in New York, New York. Expect her to arrive to be in four to six months.
Now as a personality comparison test we asked her some questions. When asked what the one thing that she would save if her house was on fire she responded “the house.” That kind of cleverness is hard to find in perspective dates, but that’s not all. If she could change one thing about herself she would like to be better in math. Whether you are good at math, and like helping people, or you find math difficult and you like having things in common with people, Christine would be a perfect fit for you.
But wait, there’s more. If you order your Christine today you will receive with her one nice outfit to wear to the dance, and a free ticket as well. If you are still not sure about this commitment, we will also throw in a free limousine ride to and from the dance for you and your date. If you would like to order Christine today send cash or check order to PO Box number 442563 in New York, New York. Expect her to arrive to be in four to six months.
Ryan is an Amazing Homecoming Date
Tantalizing, refreshing and an overall stud, Ryan Yang would be the ideal homecoming date for any lady. Notice how I used the word lady, showing that Ryan is a sophisticated man who doesn’t go running around with just anyone. Ryan’s personality can be compared to a dog made out of pears. Not only is he there for you at all times, but he can be sweet, sensitive, and good for you. Ryan’s hobbies include long walks on the beach, engaging in Gatorade chugging competitions, sports, mainly football, and writing. Ryan is also a true ladies man. He is not afraid to hold a door open for someone, and unlike Kanye West has some sense of Respect. Ryan is also very creative and hard working. Ryan has studied the intense art of Origami and can create a dozen paper roses in about 25 minutes. If you thought that Ryan was already amazing, you will get a free bonus if you are his homecoming date. The ultimate Ryan package comes with a bucket to catch the drool after you first lay eyes on him, a dozen roses, and a T-shirt that says, “I survived/went to homecoming with Ryan Yang. In conclusion, I strongly believe that Ryan Yang would be an amazing and enjoyable homecoming date.
Are you in desperate need of a date to Homecoming this year? Well, we have the perfect date for you. Call 1-800-954-3423 to get James Lee as your Homecoming date this year. Any girl would be lucky to have James as their date. He’s got a great personality and he’ll make this year’s homecoming the best ever. James loves pizza and he could even take you out for pizza on a second date. The Shawshank Redemption is his favorite movie and he likes the song the Pursuit of Happiness by Kid Cudi. James also likes sports, especially playing tennis and he loves hanging out with friends. If your laptop is your favorite gadget, James is definitely the perfect date for you. He loves surfing the internet and would take his laptop anywhere with him. Call now to have him as your best Homecoming date ever! If you call within the next ten minutes, we will also throw in a free Kid Cudi CD. So call now before he is taken. When you call, be sure to tell us why James Lee is the perfect date for you so we can choose the best person for each date. Make sure you call within the next ten minutes, though, so that you can get the free Kid Cudi CD and if you are chosen, your CD will be autographed. That’s right, if you get James Lee as your homecoming date, we will throw in an autographed Kid Cudi CD. So call 1-800-954-3423 now to have James Lee as your homecoming date. Call now because supplies are limited.
Inroducing.... Lily!
Introducing... Lily!
Billy Mayes here, introducing the new great date, Lily! See how she breaks down tough math problems and brightens up the physics test! She's even tough on "rude people and meanie butts" and her other pet peeves.
Here's the problem with other girls. They listen to music you might actually have heard of, or know anything about! Go to the dance with Lily and she'll want to dance all night to 2 pm! The band, not the time! You'll never stay out that with Lily, she sleeps too much! You would need ten sloths to do the sleeping of just one Lily! What a deal!
Want a date with Lily? Just look like her favorite rock star Taecyeon (middle) or another start Jaebum (left)! Oh the love she has for these guys! She can be a crazy fan girl for these guys, she can be a crasy fan girl for you too! Or you can look like her secret love, a panda (right DUH!)! Anything cute and fuzzy!
Look closely! Watch the Lily on the badminton court! SHe does quick work and really cleans up tough grime like Palatine High School! She also is a musical wonder. Piano! Violin! Bassoon! It's a 3 in 1 solution!
Strange music! Pandas! Sleeping! You must call for Lily today! Call 1-800-781-7529 today! TODAY! Not tonight, she'll be sleeping!
Michelle Gorecki
Now boys, how many of you have guts, bravado, or courage? Okay, now how many of you have homecoming dates?
Michelle here is a fabulous option for any of you. She values memories, family, and friends over material goods such as any perfect person should.
Even though, this fun girl has a sense of fashion that can blow anyone’s mind.
She’s playful and cute with a sense of humor that extends to the sky and a temper as small as a mouse. And aren’t those tiny little animals so cute?!?
She has a strong intellect, as you can tell since she is in AP English, which she’s also taking to improve her wonderful self in her writing skills. As well as she would love to sit down and have an interesting discussion with Barrack Obama over some super hot and sexy movie star so boys come on down! Not to mention she recently got a job tutoring younger children in math and reading. Now what kind of person wouldn’t love that quality? Smart and with a job...
Michelle is the kind of girl that enjoys playing badminton and is on the Fremd team. Now that takes skills.
In her other spare times she enjoys watching movies and listening to music. Two songs that have captivated her most lately are Down by Jay Sean and I Gotta Feeling by the BEP. The movie Dark Knight is always a winner for Michelle. You know, the one with Heath Ledger.... oh and all the action too.
Your future date here loves pizza but has an even softer spot for mashed potatoes. Who doesn't love those two foods?!?
Michelle is the perfect date for any of you and if you want her please call:
1-800- FOR-DATE
1-800- 367- 3283
Your payment is simply one gallon of chocolate ice cream (her favorite).
And if you order now, you can get free tutoring lessons in math and reading... and i think you know what that means... *wink wink* A's in your classes! Yay!
So call now!
Michelle here is a fabulous option for any of you. She values memories, family, and friends over material goods such as any perfect person should.
Even though, this fun girl has a sense of fashion that can blow anyone’s mind.
She’s playful and cute with a sense of humor that extends to the sky and a temper as small as a mouse. And aren’t those tiny little animals so cute?!?
She has a strong intellect, as you can tell since she is in AP English, which she’s also taking to improve her wonderful self in her writing skills. As well as she would love to sit down and have an interesting discussion with Barrack Obama over some super hot and sexy movie star so boys come on down! Not to mention she recently got a job tutoring younger children in math and reading. Now what kind of person wouldn’t love that quality? Smart and with a job...
Michelle is the kind of girl that enjoys playing badminton and is on the Fremd team. Now that takes skills.
In her other spare times she enjoys watching movies and listening to music. Two songs that have captivated her most lately are Down by Jay Sean and I Gotta Feeling by the BEP. The movie Dark Knight is always a winner for Michelle. You know, the one with Heath Ledger.... oh and all the action too.
Your future date here loves pizza but has an even softer spot for mashed potatoes. Who doesn't love those two foods?!?
Michelle is the perfect date for any of you and if you want her please call:
1-800- FOR-DATE
1-800- 367- 3283
Your payment is simply one gallon of chocolate ice cream (her favorite).
And if you order now, you can get free tutoring lessons in math and reading... and i think you know what that means... *wink wink* A's in your classes! Yay!
So call now!
The Pefect Date
Guys it's that time of the year. Homecoming is less than two weeks away and have you found a date? If you haven't had the courage to ask someone, look no further. Julianne is the perfect girl to ask and guess what, she's available. For those of you who are not familiar with Julianne, here are some interesting facts about her.
First of all, she is musically gifted. She plays the flute very well and is in the school band. She loves her flute so much that it would be the item she takes when her house is on fire. Speaking of music, she likes to listen to the band Cobra Starship and her favorite song by them is”Good Girls Go Bad.” Julianne likes the simple things in life and would just rather buy a car even if she had all the money in the world. Like the majority of the people in this room, she likes Harry Potter. She especially liked the latest Harry Potter movie and would like to show that to an extra terrestrial. Julianne's favorite place to eat is the pizzeria. She enjoys having a slice of pizza followed by vanilla ice cream, which is her favorite ice cream flavor.
I know what you guys are thinking, I need to ask Julianne to homecoming. You better act fast before a lucky guy asks her. Homecoming is on October third, which is exactly ten days from now. Remember there is only one Julianne so make sure to ask her to homecoming as soon as possible.
Are you sick and tired of going to dances stag? Are you searching for that perfect girl to escort to homecoming this year? If so, you will be happy to know that Rosako is still on the Homecoming market! If you like to show up your friends, Rosako will make them all jealous because she would make such a fabulous date. She is an especially good date if you’re someone who enjoys eating seafood. Her preferred restaurant choice for a date (or before Homecoming!) is a scrumptious seafood restaurant. She is also a very amiable person, so you know she will get along wonderfully with any group you choose to go with! On Friday nights you will never find her home alone studying or sleeping because she is always out on the town with her friends. Obviously, she would be a lot of fun to go with. Not only will you have fun with her, but she will keep you laughing, guaranteed. This is a fact because she would love to have lunch with John Stewart so they could exchange comedic bits. If you’re used to hanging with girls who are intellectually challenged, you’re in luck! For the first time in your life, you can have a real conversation with someone. How refreshing! The last, but certainly not least, perk of going with Rosako is that she would be a great dancer! She is very artistic, and anyone who is artistic makes a good dancer. She listens to a wide variety of music, so your tastes are likely to overlap! But wait, that’s not all, after titling the movie of her life It’s a Wonderful Life, it is apparent that she is a happy person, and therefore a happy date! Rosako can be yours for the Homecoming dance for the simple, low cost of tickets and dinner! If you pay now, you will receive a free corsage and boutonniere of your choice for pictures! Hurry, before someone else snatches her away and this amazing offer slips through your fingers! You wouldn’t want to end up stag again, would you?
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
The Date-ster
Tired of going to homecoming with the same old people? Did you finally realize that the cute guy who sits in front of you has a crush on his English teacher? Are you even going to Homecoming this year? Well, you should, and you should go with David Jamnik!
Never have to worry about clashing outfits ever again! Even if his house burned to the ground, David Jamnik would save his clothes. But, that's only if everyone in his household were out safe and sound. Isn't he a nice guy?
While David Jamnik is not cool enough to own a blanket with sleeves, he does have a lot of good qualities. He's all the things you could ever want in a Homecoming date, and more.
That's not all, just to prove that he's worth going out with, we'll send you a free snail (the animal he like to be) and a head...of cabbage, to keep it fed. Again, ask now and receive a complimentary snail and cabbage head. This is a limited offer folks, don't let it pass you by. Ask now!
MAGGIE IS THE PERFECT HOMECOMING DATE
Are you lonely for homecoming? Wishing you had the perfect date? Hoping you would have a fantastic time? Well, don't I have good news for you! You don't want to miss your chance with Maggie! Maggie is not your typical girl. She has a brain that can actually comprehend what you're saying and guess what, she knows how to respond back! Maggie is also an amazing student with her loads of AP classes. She definitely knows how to make the whole school party! She's the one that makes the football games more exciting with her awesome marching band skills! To spend one lucky night with Maggie would be a dream come true. DUDE! Did I forget? She's a taken lady. Yea, that's right man, she has a boyfriend. How more exciting it is to dance with a girl that's not single? It makes it feel more mysterious and forbidden. What an awesome way to break the rules and to know you won't be penalized is priceless! Maggie likes SUSHI!!! What a perfect way to end the date with something exotic. She loves to hang out with her friends. This fair lady knows how to make a person laugh! She enjoys watching movies, such as Forrest Gump. Run Forest Run! Maggie is the total package! She's fun, exciting, sweet, hilarious, and smart! Don't miss your chance, CALL 1 (800) DANCEWM! The DANCE WITH MAGGIE is a one time offer that will not disappoint! Maggie will make all your dates look dull! If you call now we'll send you a free shipping of Maggie's favorite ice cream, Mint-Chocolate Chip!
homecoming ad.
Are you planning on going to the homecoming dance stag? Are you annoyed that no one’s asked you as a date yet? Need a date, but too shy to ask? Are you tired of being bored at dances alone drinking watery lemonade? Why not ask out this amazingly fantastical young lady, Erin Blanchette? Erin would be a great homecoming date! She’s charming, sweet, and is a great dancer. You’ll have a blast busting a move in the school gymnasium. No more being a wallflower for you! You’ll be laughing and having a great time on the dance floor. Erin is also multi-talented! Erin loves all kinds of music, and can play many different instruments. Strike a conversation about the cello, or the piano, or the guitar. She can sing all your favorite songs! Like a human iPod! For a date! Like classic rock? You can share lots of time talking about your favorite music, such as the Beatles, Led Zeppelin, AC/DC, and Pink Floyd. You don’t have to do anything grand and set up candles on her driveway, or get dizzy from blowing balloons. Just get the guts to ask and if you charm her well enough, you can score her as your marvelous date. What’s that? Don’t have the money, you say? Don’t want splurge on an expensive dinner for her? Well, Erin is a laid-back girl, and loves eating burgers and vanilla ice cream. She doesn’t care for super duper classy gourmet steaks. In fact, if you’re thinking about taking her to get sea food, forget it! She’d prefer McDonalds to salmon any day. She’d love a home cooked meal, or a yummy burger instead!
Erin is creative, fun, and loves to laugh and have a good time. Why go stag on homecoming? Ask out Erin today! But wait! Ask her out within the first 15 seconds and you’ll get to hear a free song! Other imitation dates are cumbersome and high maintenance. They cost not fifty dollars, not a hundred dollars, but over one hundred fifty dollars to take to a dinner with a limo for Homecoming. Taking out an amazing girl like Erin could cost you just as much, if not more! But, you can have Erin as your date for just one easy payment of a homecoming ticket! But act now, there’s only one Erin left before she’s off the market!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)