By: Ryan Yang
Are you in the need of a homecoming date?! Do you want a sexy bachelor? Well today is your lucky day.. Too good for Hollywood’s Bollywood, I present to you, AKHILLLL NAMBIARRRRRRR.
Not only is this hunky mass of man a beautiful specimen of the human race, but he is so wild that his life can be summarized with the movie title Animal House.
Having problems with people? No problem! Akhil can take care of it because if Akhil were an animal he would be a lion. But not just any lion, a lion with class, because your very own Akhil Nambiar wears designer clothes and enjoys talking to sophisticated people like Cameron Diaz! You know you want a homecoming date that wants to talk to Cameron Diaz.
He’s sexy, he’s a beast, and he’s classy but he’s got more than all that! Akhil Nambiar is even relatable! Don’t want to waste your money on a costly pre-dance dinner. NO PROBLEM. Akhil enjoys pizza and Wendy’s! Can’t decide what kind of gift to get him, don’t worry! He loves anything chocolate!
You think that’s a good deal? Just wait! Akhil is extremely intellectual. He’s in AP Physics , AP US, and much much more. But wait! That’s not all! He also plays basketball for a pee-wee league, and due to consistent strength and conditioning in gym, he has the strength of… you guessed it, a lion!
Still not convinced? Well not only is Akhil successful in school and athletics, Nambiar is known as the master of disaster among his friends, due to his extremely reputable Xbox 360 skills. Worried about loyalty from your homecoming date? Not a problem. With over 40 hours of consistent gameplay a week, Akhil more than proves his ability to dedicate himself to something.
And if all this amazingly good stuff wasn’t enough, now for a one time offer, Akhil will even drive you to Homecoming. That’s right I said it! Akhil Nambiar comes with a State of Illinois Drivers license! If you want to hook up with this beast from the East, call 847-NAM-BIAR, that’s 847-626-2427.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment